We may think we’re strong, but it’s only when our strength is challenged are we able to get a glimpse at what we’re really capable of. I’m in a situation that is testing the years of work I’ve done on myself. The therapy sessions, the self-improvement books, the introspection, it’s all come down to this. And when I look at myself, the situation and how I’m handling it, I’m actually quite proud. It turns out I’m stronger than I ever thought possible. And in finding my own strength, for me, I’ve been able to make a huge difference in his life.
If this had occurred 10 years ago the results would have been very different. I never would have made it to this point. I would have been wrecked inside. But instead I’m able to keep a level head, I’m able to step back and remember to focus on taking care of ME and I’m able to be there for him without feeding on the hatred brought on by the situation. Not to say I don’t have down days or that it doesn’t get rough. It does. But it’s bearable and I’m pretty amazed at just how well I’m handling it. I really do believe that part of me that was there when I was a little girl, that angry, needing- to- control- everything aspect of me is gone. Even when I see someone who is clearly not in her right mind, who has so many unresolved issues of her own that she tries to make life miserable for everyone around her, who causes so much anger and pain in my loved one, I’m able to see her for who she is and not feel that hatred towards her. Pity? Yes. Hatred? No. I’m empowered to the point that no matter what, she can’t arouse those awful negative feelings in me. If she could, I would have been gone a long time ago.
I’ve always believed we’re where we need to be. It’s easy to see why I’m here, at this moment.
You can read all my goodies here. 
