Just like in the movies

Today I had lunch with a good friend. She asked, “how’s everything with you and Mario?”, and I got all smiley and misty eyed. I answered with the only possible answer, “Great! Everything is really really great between us”. And then I thought about it, and I thought about all the crap going on in the background of our lives. Well, his life, but therefore ‘our’ lives. And it reminded me of a scene from a movie, where everything is in slow motion and there’s some sort of calm music playing but some massive destruction is going on in the background. Things are blowing up, fire’s everywhere, explosions causing debris to fill the air, and in the foreground are the hero and heroine, holding hands walking away from it, serene and unscathed. Immune to the devastation going on around them. That’s how I see us right now. Right out of a movie.

Animals helping our relationships

There’s no denying that furry friends can improve your quality of life. Multiple studies have been conducted proving that animals can lower blood pressure and stress levels while increasing your immune system. So how can this help you in your relationship? Read on to find out.

Why we should forgive

Whether you’re holding onto a small grudge or gripping with all your might something larger, all you’re doing is cheating yourself out of the life you deserve. Let’s get something straight, forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not for the person who wronged you. Now let’s talk about what forgiveness is not…Read on to continue this article.

Hey, you control freaks out there…

Even if you’re not a full-fledged control freak, learning to compromise will guarantee an improvement in all of your relationships. Here are some tips on the art of compromising.

Healthy, here I come…

I’m not sure if it has to do with the sudden rash of deaths in the media. After all, I’ve been working with “death” for the past 10 years, so I’ve always been aware of my mortality. Whatever the reason, it’s about time I got back to being healthy, starting with retiring my love of soda. Goodbye, my dear friend. Coffee, on the other hand…Yes, I’ll keep the 1-2 cups a day of coffee. I’m sure I’ve read somewhere about the health benefits of java. But the soda has got to go. In it’s place I’ll be drinking water. I need to be hydrated more than ever out here in California. My hair loves the lack of humidity, but my skin hates it. I’m also going to make a point to start swimming more. I need to get that collateral circulation going!

So that’s it, starting today, I’m bettering my body and mind. Just like that!

A glimpse of my Heaven

Yesterday, Mario and I took the kaboat out on her maiden voyage. She’d been out once before, but never like this. Never with a 4-horse power motor on her rear setting off into the Pacific. Actually, we weren’t sure if it was going to work. Ok fine, Mario wasn’t sure. I don’t know enough about this stuff to have an opinion one way or the other. But the water wasn’t as flat as he thought it would be. Still, it looked safe enough to give it a try. Oh, what’s a kaboat you ask? It’s an inflatable boat. A mix between a Kayak and a boat. And it wouldn’t be Mario’s boat without some sort of modification to it. So of course he had removed the inflatable floor and added a piece of plywood to give it a hard bottom. He had his reasons. He always does, just ask him. We proceeded to load all our gear into it, and drag it down to the water. Ok fine, Mario dragged it. But I followed closely behind looking like I could catch something if it fell. Which of course we all knew I couldn’t. I then took my place at the bow and with Mario pulling her, we made our way out over the first couple of waves. This is not something those of you who like to stay dry should try. And since I’m one of those who likes to stay dry, you can imagine my disappointment when about 2 minutes out a wave hit us and I was left soaking in the realization that Mr. Damp panties was here to stay. Luckily, that disappointment soon vanished as I found myself facing forward with my legs up on either side of the boat, jeans pulled up to my knees, 60 degree water spraying my legs and feeling like the captain I was pretending to be. With my life jacket on, hoodie a bit wet, and a HUGE smile on my face, I thought to myself, “This is the life!“.  I held on tight and we made our way out about a half mile.  It only took us about 10 minutes to reach our destination. With a rope tying Mario to the boat, so I wouldn’t be stranded on the boat alone, he dove for fish and I laid back and enjoyed my afternoon of heaven. With the water lapping in my ear, the sun shining on my face, all was right. At that moment I realized something. I realized that I wouldn’t have done this alone. I wouldn’t have  known how. And I love that my boyfriend is a do-er. He doesn’t just talk about doing something, he does it. And therefore, I do too. Mario and I  share a lot of the same dreams and it’s nice to know that with him, most of them will come true.

My little link to Heaven.

Pacifica

Strength

We may think we’re strong, but it’s only when our strength is challenged are we able to get a glimpse at what we’re really capable of. I’m in a situation that is testing the years of work I’ve done on myself. The therapy sessions, the self-improvement books, the introspection, it’s all come down to this. And when I look at myself, the situation and how I’m  handling it, I’m actually quite proud. It turns out I’m stronger than I ever thought possible. And in finding my own strength, for me, I’ve been able to make a huge difference in his life. 

If this had occurred 10 years ago the results would have been very different. I never would have made it to this point. I would have been wrecked inside. But instead I’m able to keep a level head, I’m able to step back and remember to focus on taking care of ME and I’m able to be there for him without feeding on the hatred brought on by the situation. Not to say I don’t have down days or that it doesn’t get rough. It does. But it’s bearable and I’m pretty amazed at just how well I’m handling it. I really do believe that part of me that was there when I was a little girl, that angry, needing- to- control- everything aspect of me is gone. Even when I see someone who is clearly not in her right mind, who has so many unresolved issues of her own that she tries to make life miserable for everyone around her, who causes so much anger and pain in my loved one, I’m able to see her for who she is and not feel that hatred towards her. Pity? Yes. Hatred? No. I’m empowered to the point that no matter what, she can’t arouse those awful negative feelings in me. If she could, I would have been gone a long time ago. 

I’ve always believed we’re where we need to be. It’s easy to see why I’m here, at this moment.

I have this friend…

And this is what he said to me. “You have such a beautiful smile, it broadcasts who you are. You can light up the whole city with that smile. Let that guide you and keep lighting up every room that you’re in. Good things grow in the light!!”. Wow. This is how he sees me? This is what I represent to him? I don’t know if it’s the truth, but it’s his truth.

We were friends who lost touch for about 15 years, but were recently reconnected at what seems to be just the right time. We’ve been able to support each other as if the 3000 miles between us don’t exist. Funny, sometimes when you least expect it, the Universe listens and gives you just what you need.

Relationship tips?

I see advertisements on so many websites for “relationship tips”. Want a tip? Fix yourself. Work through YOUR issues. Stop blaming others for your miserableness and take responsibility for yourself. If you don’t, the same problems will keep occurring with every relationship you have. There, now I’m just one more website with a relationship tip. Awesome.

Time off

I find myself walking through the grocery store aisles with a smile on my face. Carefree. In no rush to be… anywhere. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt like this. I watch the others, rushed, stressed, hurrying around with somewhere to be. And I know that used to be me, until now. For the last 13 years I’ve worked, no breaks taken. But now I’ve been forced into this strange situation. Company shut down causing lay offs with a pretty sweet severance. So instead of hurrying to get things done because tomorrow I’ll be too busy, my days are filled with relaxation. I get to take astro for long unhurried walks, do some photography, read at my leisure and drink hot tea while I watch one of my many comfort movies. This is life as I’ve never known it. And it’s good. And I’m taking in every moment of it. Of course, nothing lasts forever. On Monday my carefree mind will be replaced with thoughts of trying to impress as I sit down for a 4 hour interview. What’s that saying? ”This too shall pass“?